Dear Grandpaents of my Son...

Thank you for being the caring grandparents I know you are.  D loves you and that is mostly what matters. 

But I am a little pissed. I cant actually write you because you wouldn't get it. You wouldn't get my anger, and I don't have the time or patience to explain it.

D has autism. Just please believe me. You may say "oh just wait till he is 5 to make any decisions" or "he seems to be doing so good" or " He's only 2 you can't know for sure"

We know for sure.

You spend 20 hrs with him & think you know him so well.  Do you pay attention to him toe walking... or toe running? That is a characteristic of ASD. Do you see him flitting from one toy to another with not much actual pretend play? That is a characteristic of ASD.  Do you notice how, while he has some words, he doesn't have as many as he should? Do you know by age 2 he should have a minimum of 50 words? D has maybe 25...  Do you also see him flapping his arms while excited?  Or how if he goes into any unfamiliar surrounding he gets upset? Or see him pat all the flowers instead of swimming in his play pool?  Or lining up his cars or farm animals just right?  Or see him arrange & rearrange his toys in his crib? Do you see me calling his name 3 or 4 times before he looks IF he looks? I didn't think so...  You just don't see it. You don't see the other characteristics of autism.  You see the lack of words.  You tease because we encourage him to talk with his hands (asl) or voice.  You complain when we change his food.  We are his parents. We are the ones taking care of him day in & day out.  Please don't feel you know best with him. Please shut up when I give MY son dairy free items or eventually gluten free items.  I am just tired of it all.  Parenting D is hard. I am guessing you havent taken him to a play center to have him promptly run off & ignore you as if you didn't exsist.  I have to mentally prepare for taking my son to things like this. 

Also side note... stop telling me two so close together is hard.  Yes it is hard, it is what I chose. I love my boys to the moon & back.  I am happy at how our family was built.  Your kids were 8 yrs apart... so you have no idea how it REALLY is.  Also while I am ranting... WTH right do you think you have to tell me how many children we should have/adopt? That is hubby & my decision ALONE! I realize kids are pricey & I realize that they are a lot of work, but you have absolutely no right to tell me how big our family should be.  UGH... I am done ranting.....  Hoping to put up a review of a dairy free cheese we have tried soon!

Were this blog is going

So I know I don't write here often. Heck I haven't since late November!

I want to get back into blogging. My family is settling down. We are adopting T/G soon. We will be closing our license then. 

But I have been having a hard time finding hope lately.  I am tired of fighting our battle our selves. At least it is what it feels like.  My eldest son is autistic and I am having a hard time coping with all the options out there. I cant deal with the disbelief's.  We are currently on the wait to be put on the waiver wait list.  It feels like it has taken forever.  He is in speech. We just switched providers a few weeks back.  I love our therapist!  I am sad at how behind he is verbally.  Just for reference his expressive language (what he says) is worse than a 12m old... 

What I hope this blog becomes... is a safe haven for me to rant. A place to review products we are using with/for our son.  I also hope this to be a general home to journal my feelings & day to day goings on.  So join me on this journey!