4/15/2012

So this is more of a mixed post. I have a couple things on my mind.

2nd visit went well, or as well as I think it went. bm seemed more appreciative than ever of how much we are caring of SB.  Thought it was nice that he is our only foster kiddo right now.

Sent a notice to SB's GAL in regards to a visit concern and requesting info in regards to court that I have not been privy to. And it isn't anything like what happened-i know that's confidential, but more like when the whoey is it so I can go. I want to go to court to get a little more info maybe on how his case is moving.

Went to our first Foundation course for our license. From what I have read the state I live in is somewhat backwards in regards to foster training. We have to take 9hrs of pre-license training, formal support session once placed with a child, then another 33 hours of Foundation training in the next 2yrs.  I like that we are doing the training while we have a placement-as you can ask questions in each class that pertain to your situation, ect.

Hubby and I slightly snickered at something discussed yesterday at class.  We were being told that there are views that think the removal of a child from a birth family home is more traumatic for the child than the actual abuse the child had dealt with.  Another student brought up the question of, well what if the child has only been in your house and only knows you and your husband as their parents. Well the teachers responce was the standard, they are young, it isn't as traumatizing for them, they can move on better. Hmm ok...sure...

Feeling Unprepared

In a material way that is. So in the foster / f2a world I have been surrounded by people preparing to have a child in their home. A fellow friend is prepping for her little one that she is hoping she gets placed with and two of the four couples (we are one of the four) that was in our class were talking about what their nursrey looks like.  I am at a loss. I want to prepare but I don't know what to get. I mean really what do you need for a 0-6 year old? Yes there is ALOT of stuff that could be bought...most for baby stage. Oh yeah we also don't know gender yet. We are still finishing our licensing so we are still a number (5-7) weeks away, but I want to start preparing and feel really behind. But when I make a list of things I need it is so long, but again a lot of baby toddler stuff.  I am starting to accept the fact that there probably will not be a little baby that is on the track for adoption. So we are planning for an older toddler/preschooler with chance/possibility of a baby sibling.  So I have started to make a very vague list of things I think I will need.  But alot of material things I am blocked again by hubby because he doesn't want us to have alot of unneccisary stuff. An example, I know these children don't come with alot of clothes, so I want to have some clothing available so I don't have to run out the day they come, ect. But then my kind hubby reminds me that actually there is a good chance we will actually get a chance to have time inbetween initial match to placement. Usually a couple of weeks. The process for f2a people is that the team matches a family up with a child and you sit with the team and say yes/no. Then they start the visits, then over night visits then a weekend or two and then a full movement you your place. So it isn't like we don't have time from match to placement, but I still feel like I should be doing something to prepare. So I talked hubby into going to IKEA after our foster class next saturday. At least then I can look at their bedding and just general linens that I need. Maybe I will find a toy chest or something too!  I need something to store all these fun books I have found at Goodwill/rummages.  I am getting more excited and nervous at the same time for the f2a child we will be placed with.  Excited because, well, that should be obvious. Nervous because I know it wont be an easy road and I am nervous at how long the adoption proceedings can take. A teacher/foster mom at our foster class was talking about her children's adoption hearings and how they gave birthmom every little opertunity under the sun to get better and get her child back. It took her kids an average of about 2 years from placement to adoption hearing (the one were parental rights are given to adoptive parents). She said some will be less (she had one that only took 6 months) but most are a long wait.  So I am nervous about that.  I really need to give this to God, he knows how it will work out, I don't need to worry about it.  Easier said than done sometimes...

Class

Today we completed 6 of the 9 hours of classes required to get our foster license.  We covered some obvious things from the rule book ( can't spank kids/no corporal punnishment, must feed the kids, no locking them in a closet, stuff like that (really they have to say that? Well I suppose, otherwise the kids wouldn't be in foster care)) and breafly went over big rules.We talked in depth of how a child moves through the system. We covered some other things includeing confidentiality. No FB posting allowed, not even an announcement, so...um yeah that sucks. I do see why and were they are coming from, but it kinda sucks. I cant even say "mother's of three year olds, tell me what I need" SOOO I guess I am going to have to rely on the interwebs for what a three year old needs (or whatever age our lil sprout is!).  Other things about confidentiality kinda make me nervous. You are also not supposed to "point out" or make it known unless needed that the child is a foster child. So it is kinda hard, I mean it will be obvious and evedent to many that they are.  Also what am I supposed to tell my MIL?? She doesnt know how to keep confidentiality. I mean the neighborhood grocer probably knows bil & sil are pregnant, and that hubby and I are IF.   So really even if we go with the basics the whole world (Ok, I know...) will know we have a foster kid....  We also talked with the two ladies running the meeting. Many people talked about their concerns with the process ect. Hubby (we found out) was not alone in his fear of the birthparents finding out where we live. He is afraid of familial retaliation. The only thing with that is if a family tries to retaliate (which is extremely rare) you can get that maked on their file, mentioned at court. So really it hinders them to mess with you.
We also found out about that rights that birthparents have when you have their child. Like the parents can choose to refuse a haircut, a permission slip, out of state travel, and even religious beliefs.
Over all the class was interesting, but LONG. In ways I wish we would have taken the three seperate classes instead of two.

Some things we are not looking forward to for 2012 are the possible recertification due to how the state is reorganizing. Usually the county runs the foster system for that county, but because mke county is a lawsuit county (a foster parent brought a lawsuit against mke co for the children) it is now run by the state. It is confusing. But I am nervous for getting certified in this reorganizational year.  I guess it will be ok in the end.

So this week we have our next appt with Chris. I am so happy we keep truckin along on this journey.