The other "A" word

So forgive me!  I really didn't blog much when Greysen (Tbug) was in our home, since we were busy with a lot of medical stuff for both kids. 

We were placed with Greysen very shortly after Dalton's first birthday. Greysen was a 1 month old & yes I know... my kids are super close, yup i know.  We were told in broad strokes of what Greysen had medically wrong, but finite details were never covered.  We were only the foster parents & the interested relative was going to take him between 1-3 months from then...

G got really sick at about 3 months & even had a 2 night (ehm technically 3 if you count the fact we didn't get a room until 2am the next day after we came to the er.) hospital stay.  A crap load of tests were run. We were asked if he had brain abnormalities, we said yes, but we didn't know what, which is the worst things to say about your kid... but we really didn't know. Anyhow test after test came back normal, they did a sedation mri after tracking biomom down.  We got clearer info about his brain. Gotta say we were kinda scared for his future & we still are.  Bottom line, one area of his brain has more little ripples than it should. He has two other minor brain malformations that really shouldnt effect him. But he does have a higher than normal risk of seisures - so we are careful!

That same summer (last summer) we had questions about Dalton & our pediatrition was in disbelief of what I was thinking. But being the people who know our son best, we went and got him evaluated.  We had discussed a lot privately & even taken M-Chat test/evaul in our home before getting him evaluated.  Yep he came back with an autism dx. And a little higher on the spectrum than we thought.  We knew in our hearts he was autistic before we were told so.  While we "knew" it, it was pretty hard for someone to actually tell us as such. 

Many people think we are crazy. Many people do not see how he can have this diagnosis - he looks perfect after all!  Autism for some is a somewhat hidden disorder.  It effects the brain & if you don't know what you're looking for you don't see it. 

Some things that Dalton does is considered "stimming."  He flaps his arms while excited, lines things up, needs to kick/jump to wind himself down, and others.  He is a bolter, gets quiet & non verbal in somewhat loud environments (think a bday party), stripping clothes often because of the tag-is always irritated with tags. Refuses toothbrushing (unless it is on his terms ...doesnt work well)  Hates hair combing, prefers to avoid body contact w/ others & more.  With all that makes him unique, I wouldn't change him for the world, I love him dearly.

Our biggest challenge now with him is  getting him services.... We currently are waiting to wait....
So I will be trying some at home ideas to improve his speech & help him with sensory issues.  Our short term goal is to get his iep started in fall & hopefully get him enrolled in school in January.

Kinda jumping around.  After we got Dalton diagnosed we switched to a new (awesome) speech therapy program that we had finally gotten Greysen into.  The months kept ticking along. Birthmom was not involved in the case for Greysen at all, but she kept mentioning guardianship -that she is willing to give us gaurdianship.  That doesnt exactly work for her to do that for us as we didnt know her before his birh as i guess that is part of the rule of who can get gaurdianship.  Anyhow, we went to court in late 2013 with the hopes she would voluntarily give up her rights. It was highley thought she would.  She didn't.  We went back to court late january 2014 kind of unsure how the case was going to progress. Sure enough, she decided to put Greysen first & surrender her rights.  We were unsure if she would appeal, but she didn't. So we adopted our son Greysen in early april & life has continued ticking on!

Very shortly after we adopted Greysen we closed our home & license.  I have a different perspective going through this than I did when I started.  I personally think in 5-10 years from now, we will open our home again, but even if we don't I will volunteer or be involved somehow in the foster system.  It is one screwed up system, but I was blessed with two little boys.

Ok so were is this blog going? I started this about when we started the adoption journey & now I am done.  Well I hope to bring daily life to this blog. I hope to share some ideas we are using for the kids to help them learn. I hope to bring the ups & downs of life with 2 special needs kiddos!  Stay tuned :)

Were this blog is going

So I know I don't write here often. Heck I haven't since late November!

I want to get back into blogging. My family is settling down. We are adopting T/G soon. We will be closing our license then. 

But I have been having a hard time finding hope lately.  I am tired of fighting our battle our selves. At least it is what it feels like.  My eldest son is autistic and I am having a hard time coping with all the options out there. I cant deal with the disbelief's.  We are currently on the wait to be put on the waiver wait list.  It feels like it has taken forever.  He is in speech. We just switched providers a few weeks back.  I love our therapist!  I am sad at how behind he is verbally.  Just for reference his expressive language (what he says) is worse than a 12m old... 

What I hope this blog becomes... is a safe haven for me to rant. A place to review products we are using with/for our son.  I also hope this to be a general home to journal my feelings & day to day goings on.  So join me on this journey! 

It's been a year since I last blogged. I have been busy-but now I need to write.  To get stress & anxiety off my chest. 

Quick recap of what happened since I last wrote...  Dalton's adoption became final in august of last year.  We celebrated his first birthday early january.  A few days later we got called about Tbug.  He was a month old & lots of sadness had happened in his short life.  We became his foster parents a few days after.  Here we are almost a year later and we are going to court to terminate mom's rights.  And she contests.  We have a jury trial in late January for this case.  We really think she is just doing this because she can, not because she feels for her son.  She has no connection to him at all.  She has not seen him since birth.  I am just so stressed about the what if's & what other little things she can do to get him back because "she can take care of him the best"...   Can I text scream here please......     And on top of that... So adoption is very likely.... but it also will likely take forever to accomplish...  it very likely could take a year and a half until we are able to adopt him...  So that is were we are at with that... kinda crappy.  I am happy he will have a wonderful thanksgiving, christmas & first birthday. Beyond that we will try to live day by day & not worry to much about the future until it comes...

Adoption Day!

Ok, I told you all I'd be back... I am slowly back to blogging.  I have an active & mobile 9 month (seriously where did the time go??) who keeps me a little busy. But it is nap time now... so I may get a few spare minutes to write!

So D (I am still using an abbreviation for the most part for security for him) had a long adoption day!  We got to the court house on time, waited for a few family members to show up, and waited. Waited we did, for a long time, sigh... Our scheduled court hearing was at 10am, we did not get in the court room until a little after 11:30. The waiting room was PACKED when we got there. But slowly emptied. There were very few other people waiting by the time we got into the court room ( the judges break for lunch at like noon I think our CW was saying)  We all sit in our spots and the judge calls us up one at a time. First hubby, then me, then D's CW. When the Judge was ready to rule he called us all up to ring the gavel together as a family to symbolize that we are all now a family. It was a very joyous event for us, and emotional for me. A child that I had dreamt of for so long. I wanted a family for so long & here he was making us a family.

After the court hearing, we went out to lunch to celebrate with family that were at the hearing.  A few days later we had a big party with lots of guests to celebrate us becoming a family! It was a really nice party hosted at my parents house with about 65 or so people in attendance!

Here are a few Pictures of adoption day and two from the party of our thumbprint tree and one of the cakes.

Hope you enjoy the pictures! And yes his name is Dalton, his birth parents chose it and after much discussion between the hubs and I, we chose to keep it.

So much has happened!

Ok, so apparently I stink at keeping up with the blog! Well my excuse is I have a 8.5 month (yes I can't believe he is that old as well!!) to chase after!  He is crawling and pulling up all over the place, it truly is ridiculous how big he is getting. I want the baby back!!!  I miss cuddling with him, he may let me cuddle with him if he is SUPER tired, but that is about it, sigh...

So back on track to update.... He is ours now....we are so very happy, but at the same time not so sure it has really sunk in yet that he really truly is ours.  We haven't had a social worker visit in almost a month. I keep looking at my calender and thinking I need to call Ryan (our CW) and schedule a home visit, then I remember, Oh yeah we adopted him! It has been nice to be alone and bond more as a family, no cw intervening and telling us what we can/cant do.

A few days after we adopted D, my parents had a big party to celebrate his adoption. It was a really sweet day. A day that I look back on with happy tears! So many people came out to congratulate us on the adoption finalization.

We also just recently came back from a first airplane trip with the little man! we went to Cape Cod for a week. It was interesting, somewhat swore off of traveling with extended family, but D seemed to enjoy his extra time with Gma & Gpa, so that was good!  Some pictures in another post soon! I just wanted to quick pop on & update!!

Baby Book

So we have had String Bean for almost seven months. I finally chose to buy a baby book for him.  I finally took the risk of bio parents contesting tpr and bought the dang book my mother has been hounding me about getting :)

I immediately started to fill it out. I could hear my parents in my head as I wrote the truth of his story in certain sections. I could hear them saying "  He may not ever need to know his story"  or "He may hate you for finding out he was adopted" I hope the last isn't true.  Adoption WILL BE a topic freely talked about in my (our) household.  I really don't want my child to feel shame in the fact that he was adopted. I don't want him to be embarrassed because he is adopted. We want him to know there are many ways to create a family, and ours is through adoption. All ways of a family being made are beautiful and special.

So while I work on this baby book, I keep looking at the life book binder next to me.  Ugh... I seriously don't like their book. I understand why it is there and why it is important to have their story written down somewhere, but the binder does not make it age appropriate. If I were to fill it out, SB wouldn't understand his story when he was three or four.  It is geared to the older child who can read and write since there are spots for the child to fill out.  I have been searching for age appropriate life books and the only examples I have seen are for children adopted from another country, not from foster care.  I guess I need to read more. There was a give away a week or so back that I entered for a chance to win one of two books. I didn't win. So now these two books are going to be added to my list of books to buy.  The first one came highly recommended by some of our foster/adopt class teachers:
Telling the truth to your foster & adopted kids  and Lifebooks
They both seem like they would be so interesting to read.

So Fast

The journey that hubby and I have been on for the last six months is about to end. The train is about to stop and let us off to breath and just be. Be what you may ask? Be a family.

SB has been our family since day one, but it will be official in 61 days.

Everyone has said this is moving quick, everyone except us and our friends/family.  But sitting in court yesterday we were reminded yet again on how fast our case has gone. We had also received a round of congrats yesterday.

Yesterday we sat through a heart renching vol tpr hearing.  I silently cried or teared up through the whole thing.  So many questions just to make sure they are for sure on their decision.  The saddest part was when bio dad said he didn't have any family....I just wanted to get up and hug him right then and there.  Parents got released from court room, our cw got interviewed. Adoption date set.

So apparently people are super surprised that our case has moved so fast through the system, we think it is God! He placed us with a little guy he know we would fall in love with so deeply as if he was our own and knew how this was all going to work out even before SB was born.  God is good!!

So Thankful

I am not even sure that would be appropriate to title this. Thank you is not enough.  Thank you for giving my soon to be son life, a life that yes, did start out rocky, but a life.  Thank you for thinking beyond yourself. Even though there are so many things that cause you to not be a parent in social services mind, that one glimmer of hope I can see.  You chose for your son- our son, to have a better life. One that you knew you couldn't make happen. We are forever grateful.  We hope that we can maintain the right amount of openess.  We hope to be open and let you in, but at the same time guard this little boys heart, he has been through so much already. We can't wait for the day that we get to officially call String Bean our son.   We hope that the paperwork will be completed shortly so we can hopefully finalize the adoption by early fall.

Hmmph... I am having a hard time celebrating my friends placement. I know what it is. Lack of patience and slight jealousy.  I generally am a patient person accept when it comes to events and stuff.  I get my self over excited for what is to come.  I used to get sick before trips as a child, they thought I would use up all my adrenaline and then get sick. Yeah... not fun.

I really want to get the show on the road.  We have been through this process for almost the last year, and thats only the foster license process. That year does not include the year + that hubby and I have been discussing this as an option. I mean I was hemming and hawing about going to an RE a little over a year ago or just going forth with finding out about adoption. A certain someone I went to a retreat with knows what I am talking about.

Hmph - ok, any prayer warriers out there?? Please keep the hubbs and I in prayer, that I would find peace in our current place and that a child would be matched with us soon and that the child would be a good match for our family.

Weirdness....Anxiety.....???

I'm weird, plain and simple. I really cant explain it fully either... I guess it is some jealousy mixed with anxiety mixed with lack of patience currently... hmmph. I hope we get matched soon. A fellow foster friend just got her first placement, a newborn kiddo.  I want to say that I will appreciate and care for any kid that comes through our door, but in a small/tiny way I am hoping for a little bundle. I just hope we get matched soon- I am going bonkers waiting. I have been very busy with crafts to keep my mind at bay.. I just hope our match comes soon!!

Mkay.. Guess I forgot bout the bloggy blog!!

I haven't blogged in about 10ish days.  Hmm well nothing has really been going on. We are in a new phase of waiting. Oh, yeah so that means we got our license! Woot!  So now we are back into waiting, buuuttt a different form of waiting. Er, ok that sounded lame, but you know what I mean. We are waiting to be contacted by a cw-either ours or some other worker who matched us with a child.  So we will sit and wait, and work on patience!    Oh also so my winner of my giveaway is my3sons!! So since I think I know who this is, I will contact you via fb to see what you want-a tea sample mix or a starbucks gc!!  Oh and for those that may be wondering, we received our licence 10/25, but it was post dated 10/19 :/  Oh well.  Oh also, hope to photograph/video record the kids room so y'all can see what it looks like :) Alright, I'm off to bed!

Um... great....

So we have possible/probably another week and weekend to our selves. Sent a quick note off to our guy this morning asking if we need to both be home to get the license since hubby has a sh*t ton of over time this week. His reply about an hour ago says that "unfortunately he developed an infection and "should" be back in the office next week".  Humph.  Maybe I am to over excited or maybe I am sad at how long this process has taken to get to here. Either way I am going to take a que from a fellow foster blogger friend.  Guess the date closest to the date we actually will get our license and I will mail you a selection of tea from Fava Tea Company ( I like their carrot cake & cinnamon roll teas!) or a gift card for Starbucks.  Sorry I am not a coffee drinker...so I don't have a favorite one!! hehe!  Ok so comment below!  Oh and I may have a surprise for anyone who guesses the closest date to call (whether we say yes or no)  and/or placement.

Seriously...

Gah! Ok it seams like it has been one delay after the next on the state side of getting our license.  Today's delay is um our caseworker had to have emergency surgery on sunday and is out for the week. Great... I guess another relaxing weekend shall be had. He "should" be able to get our license printed off to us on monday.  So this rebrings up a fear of mine. It's not a fear fear but something I have been thinking about.  And I guess I can't really put a why by this fear, just something I guess I am worried on how I will handle it. So I am affraid that we will get placed with a child like a day or two before a holiday (halloween, thanksgiving, christmas) or their birthday.  I know it may seam like I am worrying about silly things, but that is how it is now...  

Preparation

So I have heard people talking about how pregnant they are with this foster stuff.  I am not sure if I relate to this saying much, not sure why... But I would say I am worrying the way a 8-9 month preggo person would be. I am worrying at my skills. How I am going to be viewed by my choices to raise this other persons child, such as Cloth or disposable diapers? Pacifer vs. no pacifier. Fun toys or learning toys? Starting early learning at home through pre k activities?  Gah! And I am still nervous at the actual unpreparedness material wise.  I mean there is a good chance that we will be matched and have some time before placement, but there is always a chance of getting a recently detained child who will auto be on the adopto track because of family situations... (its hard to explain...)  So in that case it could be a matter of a few hours between call and placement. So I am worried that I am gonna be stuck at home, not be able to get things until that evening when hubby comes home. But even then only one of us may be able to go, if the kiddo is smaller than we planned car seat wise (we just have a high back booster)  I guess I need to get a support person. SOmeone from my fam/friend group that would be willing to run out for me and get the stuff we need. I think I would ultimately have a hard time with that as I try to be fairly self reliant... Ah well only time will tell. I can't beleive how close we are getting to getting our license then placement... :)

Update... I wish

There isn't really much to update. I am still waiting for word that our license is done. I contacted our guy a few days ago and he seamed a little piturbed that I contacted him... Hmph.  I was excited at getting our license done maybe by the end of September but it sounds like there is absolutely no possibility of that. He will "shoot for october". Great.... that means most likely end of october.  I am kinda upset that it will be even longer. I hate this waiting game. Some people I have talked to are surprised that we are still waiting for our license completion since we sent our initial interest forms in early april.  I am hoping to relax a little on a trip next week. We are taking a little trip to northern Wisconsin. I am looking forward to it.

Status Update: Still Waiting...

Yeah we are still waiting. Havent gotten any calls/emails from our guy asking stuff he forgot. So fingers and toes crossed it is going as it should.  I plan to shoot him an email in a few days asking about status. I dont want to be a pest since he is busy but I also dont want to seem like all of a sudden I'm not as interested. Dunno.

Other news the hubbs and I are planning to take a trip up north - Ladysmith to be exact. I am so excited about it!  I havent been to my old stomping grounds since right before my wedding when we met up with the pastor who was going to do our wedding.  So excited!!! Hoping to meet up with some friends from my college days, but I nothing is planned yet, so who knows. I would be fine just checking out how the town has developed and taking some hikes and stuff.  I am excited but also feel like an ass in some ways.  First off we are leaving the day my cousin in NJ is getting married. We said no to their wedding because it would be to much money for us-easily close to $1000 for plane tickets and resort room rental. Hrmph. I would have loved to go because I am actually closer to those cousins than the rest of my ousins. I went out to his sisters wedding two years ago (also my cousin, obvs!) but the trip was pretty much paid for by my aunt & uncle.  I am sure their wedding will be beautiful though!  My parents are going, since their at the cape now anyhow, so I am sure I will see pics.  One other thing I feel like an ass about is not going to my sil's shower.  I have gone over why I am not going, but at some aspect I feel like a turd for not going.  But  know it would be in my best interest to not go.  So I will be spending one of our last childless weekends enjoying ourselves up north.  That is also when we should get our license hopefully...

Oh also one other thing- we picked up a dresser that Hubby's aunt repainted for us. It is nice! A lot of small drawers and some regular sized drawers. The room is shaping up. Got an "eh ok" lamp from mil. it doesnt match our style or anything in the room really but I feel bad giving it to GW.  She also gave us a cute teddy bear and some other "stuff". I want to get some shelving for the wall to maybe display pictures on and get/do art work for the room walls.  Eventually hubby is going to redo the closet with shelves and stuff, thats down the road though.

Finished...sorta

This past Tuesday was our last visit with our CW Chris. Well our last until our license is approved. Then there is a monthly visit, pretty much to insure that our house is still a safe environment. They will check smoke detectors, etc.  So now we are back to the waiting part....I hate the waiting parts. At least now I have a contact and will be able to check with him to see what the status is.  Next step is for Chris to write a report based on our home study and submit it for approval to his boss.  He tells us he see's no issue with it passing and us getting approved. He says he is 99.99% sure we will get it.  Great... I am freaking out about that .01%.  I know I shouldn't, but failure is a thing I think about along with everyday things, so why would this be any different.  Other thing that worries me is that he still freaking didn't give us a date of license finalization.  Grrr. He said he will try his hardest to get the report done by the end of September, but he only works three days a week, goes to school and has other couples he is working on home studies for. I am hoping that he gets it done by then. So in recap:

- Signing 100ish papers... Done!
- Home study Meetings...Done!
-State mandated pre-license classes...Done!

Now we just have to wait for the license and final approval and then placement!

-Oh side note for those interested: we did end up saying yes to all races, 0-6 age range and up to to of same gender. We also said moderate on emotional/behavioral and low on physical issues. Mostly due to fact we have stairs and we do not have a very handicap friendly house.  Ok so that should wrap this up!

Updateroo!

So I ment to write the update a few days ago-obviously that didn't happen. I have been a little to busy playing WoW with the hubbs... The update is both possitive and negativeish, but still an update :)

This past monday we met with Chris again and did more interview stuff. Ok serious side note here-if you want to strengthin your marraige, have someone ask you the interview questions we were asked. THey ask things like how is your marriage, how do you fight, how do you over come arguments and so on. Strengths and weaknesses of your partner, ect.  So ok, back, we had Chris over for about an hour, asked us more questions. TOld us hubby's physical sheet was in, but mine was not (damn you hospital!!) And said that he thinks we only need ONE MORE MEETING!!! woot woot!  So that meeting is scheduled for this coming tuesday. Then he has a certain amount of time to get his paper work in and then our license is given. Honestly I have no idea how the process on his end goes. He plans to explain at our next meeting and give us an estimated date of license approval.  We asked him last week what he thinks the time line is for us to get our license, and he didn't have a timeline for us yet... Which kinda worries me especially since Erathora has had a estimated date since like half way through her process.Grrr!! Hubby says "why does it matter" And I say because I want to be prepared for that call... So the not so happy thing with this is still the ethnic aspect of it all and hubbies disagreement. He really has it ingrained somewhere somehow that "colored people" are bad. At least that is what I am making of it. He is still hemming and hawing about saying yes to being open to an african american person. He has sorta said yes to our CW, so I donno. He wants to wait to see where this all goes, but my problem with that is I have a very hard time with the possibility of being presented with a child and everything matches except hubbies choice of skin color, and saying no to this child because of their skin. I knowq having a biracial/ethnic child in the family will be hard for some family members, but at the same time why does skin color matter. Grr ok I am probably seeing this with rose colored glasses so if anyone has input-please input!  I even had our women's group pray about it.  This month was more of a book club meet so it wasn't bible studyish, but I felt it was important because it was causinga divide.  So it was prayed over at the meeting. I feel better about it all being in God's hands, and he knows best, but still my mind is over thinking the situation..

On a happier note I guess to end the update, we gave in and bought a pack n play.  Just a basic one. And actually no complaint from the hubby since it was at his favorite store (menards) so yeah!! it was cheap to- $35, so it wan't to bad and it is brand new, not like the ones I would have gotten off craigslist. Ok well hope everyones weekend is good. I have been invited to invade guys night since they need an extra player for Axes & Allies. Gotta read up on how to play :)

Feeling Unprepared

In a material way that is. So in the foster / f2a world I have been surrounded by people preparing to have a child in their home. A fellow friend is prepping for her little one that she is hoping she gets placed with and two of the four couples (we are one of the four) that was in our class were talking about what their nursrey looks like.  I am at a loss. I want to prepare but I don't know what to get. I mean really what do you need for a 0-6 year old? Yes there is ALOT of stuff that could be bought...most for baby stage. Oh yeah we also don't know gender yet. We are still finishing our licensing so we are still a number (5-7) weeks away, but I want to start preparing and feel really behind. But when I make a list of things I need it is so long, but again a lot of baby toddler stuff.  I am starting to accept the fact that there probably will not be a little baby that is on the track for adoption. So we are planning for an older toddler/preschooler with chance/possibility of a baby sibling.  So I have started to make a very vague list of things I think I will need.  But alot of material things I am blocked again by hubby because he doesn't want us to have alot of unneccisary stuff. An example, I know these children don't come with alot of clothes, so I want to have some clothing available so I don't have to run out the day they come, ect. But then my kind hubby reminds me that actually there is a good chance we will actually get a chance to have time inbetween initial match to placement. Usually a couple of weeks. The process for f2a people is that the team matches a family up with a child and you sit with the team and say yes/no. Then they start the visits, then over night visits then a weekend or two and then a full movement you your place. So it isn't like we don't have time from match to placement, but I still feel like I should be doing something to prepare. So I talked hubby into going to IKEA after our foster class next saturday. At least then I can look at their bedding and just general linens that I need. Maybe I will find a toy chest or something too!  I need something to store all these fun books I have found at Goodwill/rummages.  I am getting more excited and nervous at the same time for the f2a child we will be placed with.  Excited because, well, that should be obvious. Nervous because I know it wont be an easy road and I am nervous at how long the adoption proceedings can take. A teacher/foster mom at our foster class was talking about her children's adoption hearings and how they gave birthmom every little opertunity under the sun to get better and get her child back. It took her kids an average of about 2 years from placement to adoption hearing (the one were parental rights are given to adoptive parents). She said some will be less (she had one that only took 6 months) but most are a long wait.  So I am nervous about that.  I really need to give this to God, he knows how it will work out, I don't need to worry about it.  Easier said than done sometimes...

Class

Today we completed 6 of the 9 hours of classes required to get our foster license.  We covered some obvious things from the rule book ( can't spank kids/no corporal punnishment, must feed the kids, no locking them in a closet, stuff like that (really they have to say that? Well I suppose, otherwise the kids wouldn't be in foster care)) and breafly went over big rules.We talked in depth of how a child moves through the system. We covered some other things includeing confidentiality. No FB posting allowed, not even an announcement, so...um yeah that sucks. I do see why and were they are coming from, but it kinda sucks. I cant even say "mother's of three year olds, tell me what I need" SOOO I guess I am going to have to rely on the interwebs for what a three year old needs (or whatever age our lil sprout is!).  Other things about confidentiality kinda make me nervous. You are also not supposed to "point out" or make it known unless needed that the child is a foster child. So it is kinda hard, I mean it will be obvious and evedent to many that they are.  Also what am I supposed to tell my MIL?? She doesnt know how to keep confidentiality. I mean the neighborhood grocer probably knows bil & sil are pregnant, and that hubby and I are IF.   So really even if we go with the basics the whole world (Ok, I know...) will know we have a foster kid....  We also talked with the two ladies running the meeting. Many people talked about their concerns with the process ect. Hubby (we found out) was not alone in his fear of the birthparents finding out where we live. He is afraid of familial retaliation. The only thing with that is if a family tries to retaliate (which is extremely rare) you can get that maked on their file, mentioned at court. So really it hinders them to mess with you.
We also found out about that rights that birthparents have when you have their child. Like the parents can choose to refuse a haircut, a permission slip, out of state travel, and even religious beliefs.
Over all the class was interesting, but LONG. In ways I wish we would have taken the three seperate classes instead of two.

Some things we are not looking forward to for 2012 are the possible recertification due to how the state is reorganizing. Usually the county runs the foster system for that county, but because mke county is a lawsuit county (a foster parent brought a lawsuit against mke co for the children) it is now run by the state. It is confusing. But I am nervous for getting certified in this reorganizational year.  I guess it will be ok in the end.

So this week we have our next appt with Chris. I am so happy we keep truckin along on this journey.