The unknowns

Of Fostering.  About a month ago I started looking for an easter outfit for String Bean, but I chose to not buy anything because at that time I wasn't sure if I would have SB till then.  Nothing had been moving the plan, but I wasn't sure how fast things could turn around. In this case it was good that I waited, as I don't quit think SB will be in the size I thought SB would be in, and yes we get SB at least through easter :)

Future

So lately I have been thinking a lot about String Beans future, mostly if SB were to stay with us permanently. I really don't like thinking/talking about the future because if SB gets reunited with parents I don't want to have this life shattering feeling.  I have thought more and more on how I want SB to have some connection to birth family. I have felt / known since the begining of the fostering stuff that I want whoever we adopt to have connections to his/her family.  So I have been working in my head of how I would do it.  But it is way to soon to go beyond just thinking about it in my head.

Not Much

Not much is happening, that's why not much bloggy blog.  String Bean is still here, the case hasn't moved, and nothing much has changed.  Ugh, it kinda sucks though that we don't really know anything about the possibilities...it is like pulling teeth to get info from the worker....

We also added a bunch of names to the background check list-have I heard yeah or nay about these people yet...that would be a negative. I know they are busier now after the reorg. but some info would be lovely so I don't get my license taken away for having a currently not approved person as a babysitter....

Also, on another note... We got a call....For another placement.  We said no-for practicality reasons mostly.  String Bean's room has a crib and a twin bed-I do also have a pack n play-but that is really for emergencies/travel/naps/ect. So we are limited bed wise for placements. We also currently have a two month old-sooo yeah a sister sib group of 3day and 1 year are kinda out of the picture.  At first though I felt fine turning them down, but now I feel a little stressed that they may not find a home. I am sure they will, but still... I somewhat feel like I let them down.  In practicality we cannot have two more children. I would think about another baby or older - but right now, no to sibs...   Ah well, I guess I just need to let it go and focus on String Bean.

2/4/12

Sometimes I just think God is giving me the biggest test.  String Beans case isn't looking to good for us, there are still a lot of possible things to get worked out.  I haven't shed a tear for him yet, but I know it is on it's way soon.

Also, another "kicker" in my life, we got a letter from LSS. Some friends/readers may recall telling you that we submitted our "lottery ticket" to LSS private adoption drawing last year. Well drawing was had and what do you think happened? We were not selected, no real surprise.  Ah well, there is always next year right?

Sorry I am just in a glum mood in regards to String Bean's future with us. The longer he stays with us, the more I get attached to him. I guess I will just need to see how it goes. Take it one day at a time. Trying to cherish each day he is with us :)