So Dalton just had his last Jr preschool class. I think he was the youngest in his class. The class was advertised for 3-4 yo - at least in the group run by his speech therapist, but she wanted him in it.
They did lot of cute art projects & he learned his shapes fairly solidly in the class. He knew his shapes somewhat before hand, but now he is a pro - we are still working on him naming them. We have to pretty much say "where is the..." then he will point & say it. If you were to say "what is this" he will answer "this". Our therapist recognized this a few weeks back & has started to incorporate yes/no question into his therapy. She said that is the easiest to learn then they move on to "who/what/were/when questions.
His class was made up of 6 or 7 kids who had mostly speech delays, so although he was younger he was fairly level with most of the class speech wise.
I also learned that while he reacts to auditory stimuli (mostly loud groups) at first in group he warms up & interacted nicely! We know he reacts to over stimulation of audio input, but it was nice to have some proof that others see it too & that we arent the only people that see the symptoms/characteristics of autism in our son. It is hard to live with family & friends who see nothing more than a speech delay...
Anyhow, also after the last class he had speech like the past few weeks. And I was reminded again of what I will have to start doing. In early to mid september I need to contact my local school & get him evaluated for 3 yo preschool & get him an iep. He should qualify for both speech delay & autism dx, but we will see how this all goes. I am nervous of him borderline not qualifying. I cant believe my baby will be possible starting school in january. And yet I am still waiting to freaking get added to the waiver list. Folks we are 7+ months into waiting to be qualified to be approved for ssi to be added to the waiver wait list. Average time for this is 2-3 months. Our worker is of NO USE - or at least it feels that way. She always just says she has nothing new for me when i ask status & has no info of people higher up I can contact about it... because really at this point it is crazy & i am ticked. Because once we get approved to be on the waiver wait list it can take up to 2 years just to "get your number called" so to speak to get therapy started. Ugh so aggravated with it!
Well i guess this post got a little ranty! Ha!
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Thursday, July 24, 2014
The other "A" word
So forgive me! I really didn't blog much when Greysen (Tbug) was in our home, since we were busy with a lot of medical stuff for both kids.
We were placed with Greysen very shortly after Dalton's first birthday. Greysen was a 1 month old & yes I know... my kids are super close, yup i know. We were told in broad strokes of what Greysen had medically wrong, but finite details were never covered. We were only the foster parents & the interested relative was going to take him between 1-3 months from then...
G got really sick at about 3 months & even had a 2 night (ehm technically 3 if you count the fact we didn't get a room until 2am the next day after we came to the er.) hospital stay. A crap load of tests were run. We were asked if he had brain abnormalities, we said yes, but we didn't know what, which is the worst things to say about your kid... but we really didn't know. Anyhow test after test came back normal, they did a sedation mri after tracking biomom down. We got clearer info about his brain. Gotta say we were kinda scared for his future & we still are. Bottom line, one area of his brain has more little ripples than it should. He has two other minor brain malformations that really shouldnt effect him. But he does have a higher than normal risk of seisures - so we are careful!
That same summer (last summer) we had questions about Dalton & our pediatrition was in disbelief of what I was thinking. But being the people who know our son best, we went and got him evaluated. We had discussed a lot privately & even taken M-Chat test/evaul in our home before getting him evaluated. Yep he came back with an autism dx. And a little higher on the spectrum than we thought. We knew in our hearts he was autistic before we were told so. While we "knew" it, it was pretty hard for someone to actually tell us as such.
Many people think we are crazy. Many people do not see how he can have this diagnosis - he looks perfect after all! Autism for some is a somewhat hidden disorder. It effects the brain & if you don't know what you're looking for you don't see it.
Some things that Dalton does is considered "stimming." He flaps his arms while excited, lines things up, needs to kick/jump to wind himself down, and others. He is a bolter, gets quiet & non verbal in somewhat loud environments (think a bday party), stripping clothes often because of the tag-is always irritated with tags. Refuses toothbrushing (unless it is on his terms ...doesnt work well) Hates hair combing, prefers to avoid body contact w/ others & more. With all that makes him unique, I wouldn't change him for the world, I love him dearly.
Our biggest challenge now with him is getting him services.... We currently are waiting to wait....
So I will be trying some at home ideas to improve his speech & help him with sensory issues. Our short term goal is to get his iep started in fall & hopefully get him enrolled in school in January.
Kinda jumping around. After we got Dalton diagnosed we switched to a new (awesome) speech therapy program that we had finally gotten Greysen into. The months kept ticking along. Birthmom was not involved in the case for Greysen at all, but she kept mentioning guardianship -that she is willing to give us gaurdianship. That doesnt exactly work for her to do that for us as we didnt know her before his birh as i guess that is part of the rule of who can get gaurdianship. Anyhow, we went to court in late 2013 with the hopes she would voluntarily give up her rights. It was highley thought she would. She didn't. We went back to court late january 2014 kind of unsure how the case was going to progress. Sure enough, she decided to put Greysen first & surrender her rights. We were unsure if she would appeal, but she didn't. So we adopted our son Greysen in early april & life has continued ticking on!
Very shortly after we adopted Greysen we closed our home & license. I have a different perspective going through this than I did when I started. I personally think in 5-10 years from now, we will open our home again, but even if we don't I will volunteer or be involved somehow in the foster system. It is one screwed up system, but I was blessed with two little boys.
Ok so were is this blog going? I started this about when we started the adoption journey & now I am done. Well I hope to bring daily life to this blog. I hope to share some ideas we are using for the kids to help them learn. I hope to bring the ups & downs of life with 2 special needs kiddos! Stay tuned :)
We were placed with Greysen very shortly after Dalton's first birthday. Greysen was a 1 month old & yes I know... my kids are super close, yup i know. We were told in broad strokes of what Greysen had medically wrong, but finite details were never covered. We were only the foster parents & the interested relative was going to take him between 1-3 months from then...
G got really sick at about 3 months & even had a 2 night (ehm technically 3 if you count the fact we didn't get a room until 2am the next day after we came to the er.) hospital stay. A crap load of tests were run. We were asked if he had brain abnormalities, we said yes, but we didn't know what, which is the worst things to say about your kid... but we really didn't know. Anyhow test after test came back normal, they did a sedation mri after tracking biomom down. We got clearer info about his brain. Gotta say we were kinda scared for his future & we still are. Bottom line, one area of his brain has more little ripples than it should. He has two other minor brain malformations that really shouldnt effect him. But he does have a higher than normal risk of seisures - so we are careful!
That same summer (last summer) we had questions about Dalton & our pediatrition was in disbelief of what I was thinking. But being the people who know our son best, we went and got him evaluated. We had discussed a lot privately & even taken M-Chat test/evaul in our home before getting him evaluated. Yep he came back with an autism dx. And a little higher on the spectrum than we thought. We knew in our hearts he was autistic before we were told so. While we "knew" it, it was pretty hard for someone to actually tell us as such.
Many people think we are crazy. Many people do not see how he can have this diagnosis - he looks perfect after all! Autism for some is a somewhat hidden disorder. It effects the brain & if you don't know what you're looking for you don't see it.
Some things that Dalton does is considered "stimming." He flaps his arms while excited, lines things up, needs to kick/jump to wind himself down, and others. He is a bolter, gets quiet & non verbal in somewhat loud environments (think a bday party), stripping clothes often because of the tag-is always irritated with tags. Refuses toothbrushing (unless it is on his terms ...doesnt work well) Hates hair combing, prefers to avoid body contact w/ others & more. With all that makes him unique, I wouldn't change him for the world, I love him dearly.
Our biggest challenge now with him is getting him services.... We currently are waiting to wait....
So I will be trying some at home ideas to improve his speech & help him with sensory issues. Our short term goal is to get his iep started in fall & hopefully get him enrolled in school in January.
Kinda jumping around. After we got Dalton diagnosed we switched to a new (awesome) speech therapy program that we had finally gotten Greysen into. The months kept ticking along. Birthmom was not involved in the case for Greysen at all, but she kept mentioning guardianship -that she is willing to give us gaurdianship. That doesnt exactly work for her to do that for us as we didnt know her before his birh as i guess that is part of the rule of who can get gaurdianship. Anyhow, we went to court in late 2013 with the hopes she would voluntarily give up her rights. It was highley thought she would. She didn't. We went back to court late january 2014 kind of unsure how the case was going to progress. Sure enough, she decided to put Greysen first & surrender her rights. We were unsure if she would appeal, but she didn't. So we adopted our son Greysen in early april & life has continued ticking on!
Very shortly after we adopted Greysen we closed our home & license. I have a different perspective going through this than I did when I started. I personally think in 5-10 years from now, we will open our home again, but even if we don't I will volunteer or be involved somehow in the foster system. It is one screwed up system, but I was blessed with two little boys.
Ok so were is this blog going? I started this about when we started the adoption journey & now I am done. Well I hope to bring daily life to this blog. I hope to share some ideas we are using for the kids to help them learn. I hope to bring the ups & downs of life with 2 special needs kiddos! Stay tuned :)
Friday, March 14, 2014
Dear Grandpaents of my Son...
Thank you for being the caring grandparents I know you are. D loves you and that is mostly what matters.
But I am a little pissed. I cant actually write you because you wouldn't get it. You wouldn't get my anger, and I don't have the time or patience to explain it.
D has autism. Just please believe me. You may say "oh just wait till he is 5 to make any decisions" or "he seems to be doing so good" or " He's only 2 you can't know for sure"
We know for sure.
You spend 20 hrs with him & think you know him so well. Do you pay attention to him toe walking... or toe running? That is a characteristic of ASD. Do you see him flitting from one toy to another with not much actual pretend play? That is a characteristic of ASD. Do you notice how, while he has some words, he doesn't have as many as he should? Do you know by age 2 he should have a minimum of 50 words? D has maybe 25... Do you also see him flapping his arms while excited? Or how if he goes into any unfamiliar surrounding he gets upset? Or see him pat all the flowers instead of swimming in his play pool? Or lining up his cars or farm animals just right? Or see him arrange & rearrange his toys in his crib? Do you see me calling his name 3 or 4 times before he looks IF he looks? I didn't think so... You just don't see it. You don't see the other characteristics of autism. You see the lack of words. You tease because we encourage him to talk with his hands (asl) or voice. You complain when we change his food. We are his parents. We are the ones taking care of him day in & day out. Please don't feel you know best with him. Please shut up when I give MY son dairy free items or eventually gluten free items. I am just tired of it all. Parenting D is hard. I am guessing you havent taken him to a play center to have him promptly run off & ignore you as if you didn't exsist. I have to mentally prepare for taking my son to things like this.
Also side note... stop telling me two so close together is hard. Yes it is hard, it is what I chose. I love my boys to the moon & back. I am happy at how our family was built. Your kids were 8 yrs apart... so you have no idea how it REALLY is. Also while I am ranting... WTH right do you think you have to tell me how many children we should have/adopt? That is hubby & my decision ALONE! I realize kids are pricey & I realize that they are a lot of work, but you have absolutely no right to tell me how big our family should be. UGH... I am done ranting..... Hoping to put up a review of a dairy free cheese we have tried soon!
But I am a little pissed. I cant actually write you because you wouldn't get it. You wouldn't get my anger, and I don't have the time or patience to explain it.
D has autism. Just please believe me. You may say "oh just wait till he is 5 to make any decisions" or "he seems to be doing so good" or " He's only 2 you can't know for sure"
We know for sure.
You spend 20 hrs with him & think you know him so well. Do you pay attention to him toe walking... or toe running? That is a characteristic of ASD. Do you see him flitting from one toy to another with not much actual pretend play? That is a characteristic of ASD. Do you notice how, while he has some words, he doesn't have as many as he should? Do you know by age 2 he should have a minimum of 50 words? D has maybe 25... Do you also see him flapping his arms while excited? Or how if he goes into any unfamiliar surrounding he gets upset? Or see him pat all the flowers instead of swimming in his play pool? Or lining up his cars or farm animals just right? Or see him arrange & rearrange his toys in his crib? Do you see me calling his name 3 or 4 times before he looks IF he looks? I didn't think so... You just don't see it. You don't see the other characteristics of autism. You see the lack of words. You tease because we encourage him to talk with his hands (asl) or voice. You complain when we change his food. We are his parents. We are the ones taking care of him day in & day out. Please don't feel you know best with him. Please shut up when I give MY son dairy free items or eventually gluten free items. I am just tired of it all. Parenting D is hard. I am guessing you havent taken him to a play center to have him promptly run off & ignore you as if you didn't exsist. I have to mentally prepare for taking my son to things like this.
Also side note... stop telling me two so close together is hard. Yes it is hard, it is what I chose. I love my boys to the moon & back. I am happy at how our family was built. Your kids were 8 yrs apart... so you have no idea how it REALLY is. Also while I am ranting... WTH right do you think you have to tell me how many children we should have/adopt? That is hubby & my decision ALONE! I realize kids are pricey & I realize that they are a lot of work, but you have absolutely no right to tell me how big our family should be. UGH... I am done ranting..... Hoping to put up a review of a dairy free cheese we have tried soon!
Were this blog is going
So I know I don't write here often. Heck I haven't since late November!
I want to get back into blogging. My family is settling down. We are adopting T/G soon. We will be closing our license then.
But I have been having a hard time finding hope lately. I am tired of fighting our battle our selves. At least it is what it feels like. My eldest son is autistic and I am having a hard time coping with all the options out there. I cant deal with the disbelief's. We are currently on the wait to be put on the waiver wait list. It feels like it has taken forever. He is in speech. We just switched providers a few weeks back. I love our therapist! I am sad at how behind he is verbally. Just for reference his expressive language (what he says) is worse than a 12m old...
What I hope this blog becomes... is a safe haven for me to rant. A place to review products we are using with/for our son. I also hope this to be a general home to journal my feelings & day to day goings on. So join me on this journey!
I want to get back into blogging. My family is settling down. We are adopting T/G soon. We will be closing our license then.
But I have been having a hard time finding hope lately. I am tired of fighting our battle our selves. At least it is what it feels like. My eldest son is autistic and I am having a hard time coping with all the options out there. I cant deal with the disbelief's. We are currently on the wait to be put on the waiver wait list. It feels like it has taken forever. He is in speech. We just switched providers a few weeks back. I love our therapist! I am sad at how behind he is verbally. Just for reference his expressive language (what he says) is worse than a 12m old...
What I hope this blog becomes... is a safe haven for me to rant. A place to review products we are using with/for our son. I also hope this to be a general home to journal my feelings & day to day goings on. So join me on this journey!
Thursday, November 21, 2013
It's been a year since I last blogged. I have been busy-but now I need to write. To get stress & anxiety off my chest.
Quick recap of what happened since I last wrote... Dalton's adoption became final in august of last year. We celebrated his first birthday early january. A few days later we got called about Tbug. He was a month old & lots of sadness had happened in his short life. We became his foster parents a few days after. Here we are almost a year later and we are going to court to terminate mom's rights. And she contests. We have a jury trial in late January for this case. We really think she is just doing this because she can, not because she feels for her son. She has no connection to him at all. She has not seen him since birth. I am just so stressed about the what if's & what other little things she can do to get him back because "she can take care of him the best"... Can I text scream here please...... And on top of that... So adoption is very likely.... but it also will likely take forever to accomplish... it very likely could take a year and a half until we are able to adopt him... So that is were we are at with that... kinda crappy. I am happy he will have a wonderful thanksgiving, christmas & first birthday. Beyond that we will try to live day by day & not worry to much about the future until it comes...
Quick recap of what happened since I last wrote... Dalton's adoption became final in august of last year. We celebrated his first birthday early january. A few days later we got called about Tbug. He was a month old & lots of sadness had happened in his short life. We became his foster parents a few days after. Here we are almost a year later and we are going to court to terminate mom's rights. And she contests. We have a jury trial in late January for this case. We really think she is just doing this because she can, not because she feels for her son. She has no connection to him at all. She has not seen him since birth. I am just so stressed about the what if's & what other little things she can do to get him back because "she can take care of him the best"... Can I text scream here please...... And on top of that... So adoption is very likely.... but it also will likely take forever to accomplish... it very likely could take a year and a half until we are able to adopt him... So that is were we are at with that... kinda crappy. I am happy he will have a wonderful thanksgiving, christmas & first birthday. Beyond that we will try to live day by day & not worry to much about the future until it comes...
Friday, December 28, 2012
Vlog update!
So I haven't had much time or ambition (i guess you could call it that!) to blog, I thought I would do a quick vlog. Sorry for the crappy camera :/
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Catch Up & The Future
Wow-again I have not been back at this blogging stuff for a while. Thinking I may make some vlogs since it may be easier for me... hmm maybe. So really nothing new other than us STILL hemming and hawing about what we want to do with our license-foster care license that is.
It has really come to a forefront today, and a point of thorough discussion today. Our new license worker called.... yeah. She is coming to do our home check and have a chat with us. Great... She wants us to tell us about some people who continued to foster after adopting. Ok I thought. So I brought the topic up shortly after she had called over the phone with hubby. We discussed further this evening on our way to my in-laws home. I think we agreed but..it is gonna be hard. We need prayers people. We are saying yes again. But because I am super duper worried how it will affect my SON, we are going to very specific on what kind of a child we are open to. We are going to reduce our age range from 0-6 to 0-3. I also think we will take emergency placements. Some counties people get calls 24/7, but in ours we are able to choose if we wanted to get emergency placement. Early on we did not as we were not prepared. One munchkin down, we are more ready.
So there is a chance , how ever big or small, that we will get a call after monday.
I must say I am nervous. Nervous of a lot right now. How will I give my son attention affection... ect while I am caring for another one. How will I be when we have to say goodbye?
I guess we just need prayers. God called us to this to create a family. We are a family, so.... Ahh I just have a lot of thoughts/emotions going on now. Are we ready? I guess we are.
It has really come to a forefront today, and a point of thorough discussion today. Our new license worker called.... yeah. She is coming to do our home check and have a chat with us. Great... She wants us to tell us about some people who continued to foster after adopting. Ok I thought. So I brought the topic up shortly after she had called over the phone with hubby. We discussed further this evening on our way to my in-laws home. I think we agreed but..it is gonna be hard. We need prayers people. We are saying yes again. But because I am super duper worried how it will affect my SON, we are going to very specific on what kind of a child we are open to. We are going to reduce our age range from 0-6 to 0-3. I also think we will take emergency placements. Some counties people get calls 24/7, but in ours we are able to choose if we wanted to get emergency placement. Early on we did not as we were not prepared. One munchkin down, we are more ready.
So there is a chance , how ever big or small, that we will get a call after monday.
I must say I am nervous. Nervous of a lot right now. How will I give my son attention affection... ect while I am caring for another one. How will I be when we have to say goodbye?
I guess we just need prayers. God called us to this to create a family. We are a family, so.... Ahh I just have a lot of thoughts/emotions going on now. Are we ready? I guess we are.
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