3/25/12

Either I just don't understand some peoples thoughts/reasons, or vice versa.  Today was one such cases. We had a family event to go to. Towards the end of the event I brought out the pictures of SB for people to choose from.  I had still not totally decided what pictures I was going to hold back to give to SB's daddy.  I said that exact phrase when  I laid them out. Well some people just could not get why we are going to give SB's daddy a picture.  I have a hard time explaining that we (maybe mostly I) want to have somewhat of an open line of communication and photos in my mind are part of said open communication.  Pretty much I was starting to get upset when people excessively challenged our thought. I chose to leave the room, and eventually went outside to calm down.  Some family accepted our view and tried to support us.  But no matter what it is our choice, and we will be sending a few photos. We (hubby & I) don't believe that sending a few photos/note will all of a sudden sway a birth parents ability/plans for RU. Maybe I am wrong... I know the classes we have started to attend really recommend a communication journal and pictures for visits to make the whole process more open and have more communication.  I don't know. Hubby wants to talk to SB's worker before we commit to doing the letter. I think he is dreading it in some way, maybe thinking we have to over watch our writing so we don't come off to much adoption oriented.

I think even though we know this will be an ongoing process and will most likely take months/year(s?) to come to an end, many people, including the ones mentioned above think... "oh, SB has been with you for 3 months. SB doesn't know daddy. Don't the courts strive for what's best for SB right now? (um, not so much). It has been three months, SB has bonded (true, but SB is young enough that bonding with anyone who feeds & changes SB will bond at this young age).  Nothing is permanent till it is permanent.  Nothing is for sure until we sign. SB's family right now has to be given the benefit of the doubt. SB's family needs to be given a chance. Yes we have all screwed up royally at one time or another, but we were given a second or third chance.  I don't know what more to say...  I guess my heart is different from many in my family that I ultimately want SB to be loved and treated as SB should. I want what is best for SB.  And for right now (and maybe forever) SB would be best with us, but only time will tell.