So SB's worker came by for the scheduled visit. And again goes into that dad wants visits. I knew this would probably happen and doesn't mean he is leaving us...but I am just not knowing how or what to feel. In one side of my head I am rolling around thoughts of what the heck do I pack for visits-although thanks to previous advice from a friend I have an idea. Then comes the what the whoey do I write for our intro for our communication journal? On the other more scarier side... does this mean dad may clean up his act and get SB back? Does dad love SB the way a daddy should? And last kinda funny thing that I think most foster parents deal with... ok great, now I gotta figure out & distinguish daddy(bio) to dada/papa (hubby) more often with SB. I know I over worry about this, but it is hard for me not to. We know dad may not continue visits for very long... or he may just see what a beautiful child SB is & decide to put SB first in his life. I guess we just have to wait and see and pray. At least SB will be with us for a while still. Since SB's long term-ness with us is unknown I have been thinking more and more of having a half birthday for SB-so we can at least celebrate some version of a birthday with him... and if SB is here until the real bday great, then another party!
Oh, way back to original topic, I will be transporting, so it shouldn't be so so bad for SB when he has stranger anxiety, and we can build some sort of brief relationship through hand off of SB. But also maybe I am just trying to think positive of the visits that dad is entitled to. Who knows.. just keeps us all & SB's family lifted up in prayer-we would appreciate it :)
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