6/20/11

So I am not exactly sure were this post is going. A few things I wanted to talk about.

So first off, we completed our second set of paperwork. It took us a surprisingly long to do it. It was not anything to hard, we just have been busy lately with stuff and hubby has had a lot of overtime (yeah!) so we haven't had much time to sit down together and look over finances and figure out who we have life insurance through and all that fun-ish stuff. We also had to get references for this paperwork. I was happy with the out poring of love we got from those we asked with a resounding yes from everyone!! So we have more references than we need, but I figure it could be good to have more instead of not enough.  Also a good thing-the return envie had an attn:name!! Woot woot! we aren't just sending it to the wind-an actual person is receiving this and processing it.

These past few weeks hubby and I have started to work on redoing our second bedroom and I have made lists of stuff that we need to buy/get. Things like a dresser for one, a night stand maybe? A closet organization system or some sort of toy storage is on the list to, but then I think of something I haven't thought of a lot until I read a fellow friend who is also pursuing a foster license to adopt. She blogged about not taking the big steps like painting or buying clothes/baby stuff/toys until they are approved.  She talked about the possibility of being rejected.  It kinda kit me in the head like, oh yeah... we could actually get rejected.  There are two big reasons that stand out in my head why we could get rejected. Um, money is numero uno...  Granted we are not in the poor house, we are not on welfare, we are able to put food on the table and generally buy most things we want-erm ok maybe not the DSLR I have been drooling over or the new computer for hubby with the newest video card for gaming. Those are things you save for.  Those are things we save for.  But with me being a failure ( ok I guess I wont go there...) and not having a job we don't exactly make a lot. We make enough to get by, and we have learned to be ok with that.  I do want to get a job, and hopefully at some point I will, but also if/when we get a placement I am probably going to stay at home until their in school.  So ok, that cover's number one, number two is my previous emotional health.  This one kinda scares me more than the money thing - hubby's big concern is the money.   I have been treated on two seperate occations for depression. One was in and around middle school the other was more recent. It was around the time I got married.  So I am scared that affects our chance at getting our license.  I guess it is in God's hands at this point and He knows what is best.

Ok another thing. And this is super brief, I know I talk a lot about God and my beliefs, and I am sorry if I offend anyone with my beliefs.

Also I was talking with a group of people lately about how crazy some of the restrictions are that you have to do for passing a home study/home inspection.  Granted I totally see where they are coming from in asking all this stuff, they are looking out only for the child they place with you.  So part of our room remodel included buying carbon monoxide alarms, smoke alarms, electrical out pluggy things, drawer locks and cabinet locks.   But not only that we have to get a fire escape ladder eventually (possible for both bed rooms). We also have to go through our basement and do a little organizing so that we can place hubby's toys (saws) high so they are unreachable by little ones.  But not just the saftey stuff. There are tons of questions that are probing and a normal couple having a child do not have to do anything along those lines. At times it feels sad/hard that we and many others who so dearly want to start a family have to go through the most hoops and rig a maroll.  Sometimes it just is tiring to look at people who have kids and treat the kids with no respect and thinking about if they had to go through what we have to to start a family either they would not start a family or the county would take their kids right away.  Ok I know I ended on a gloomy note but that is just something I think about at times.