How do I start. I was really hurt by the few comments you made yesterday. We were supposed to be celebrating my birthday. And for the most part it was a nice dinner out, and I appreciate you taking us out, but sometimes I wish you could just be happy for me. Maybe I am being over sensitive, but telling me that you wish I found a job I like, or telling me how I should really watch what I am eating and not eat the things hubby is eating and continually telling me (that night at least) that raising kids is hard, that raising these special kids will be so hard and just your general beleif that I am not patient enough. WHO THE F ARE TRYING TO BE? I am a frickin adult but I melt again to a little kid every time you make a "constructive criticism". Can't you just be happy for me, for us and leave it at that and maybe say oh wow not sure how you can do that because xyz. Not 3-5 times in one flippin meal. Gosh. I mean yes I know I have to loose weight, or eat better, or starve myself. whatever works. I know that raising a foster child WILL NOT be easy, this I am very aware of. I have confidence in myself that I/we can do it though. And really at this point it is our only option to start a family. I want a family, I want to have to be responsible for these kids. I just wish you could be happy for me. Couldn't you tell we are excited? Why do you have to squash our happiness? Also what right do you have to compair these kids that we are going to help to R's kids. They are totally different people. R's kids have never been in the situations that these children will be in, so again what right do you have to compare apples to oranges??
And also, really criticize what I eat is so not gonna help me loose weight. It is gonna make me either yo-yo diet, cycle through starve/binge or constant dieting. I know what I should shouldn't eat. I choose to eat not great because of many reasons. Being so critical of my weight really makes me more insecure of how I look which isn't good. Do you know that I am so insecure about eating that I hate eating alone at restaurants. Yeah.. Its not all your fault I know, but you have attributed to alot of my self image stuff. Also thanks for being soo supportive of me being a stay at home mom. Why can't you just be happy for me, really. All I have wanted in this process is someone to lean on and for you to be happy for us, but it seams like neither have happened... Can you please just be happy with out all the extra opinions and bs, please...
It's hard to hear people be critical about choices you make, especially ones that don't impact them at all. I hate to tell you this, but it will get worse once you have a kid. For some reason people feel that kids are community property (not in that they're willing to help if you have problems but in that they're willing to judge and give comments). It's somewhat amusing when random strangers come up and try to tell you something about your kid. Best just to brush it off and laugh about it later (no matter who it is, parents can give advise you don't want to follow either). (I'll tell you about crazy walgreens lady sometime if I haven't yet).
ReplyDeleteI did want to send you this podcast. It's a bit odd since it mostly says that parenting as a whole doesn't matter that much but it's refreshing because there's really not too much you can do to screw up a kid. They are who they are and they're born with their own personality. I did like the fact that at the end they make the point that the only thing that was super strong on the nurturing side was that the parents were happy and showed the kids they loved them. Money, activities, grades, and pressure didn't change anything all that much. It's just good to keep things in perspective sometimes. I'm trying to do that more anyhow :)
http://www.freakonomics.com/2011/06/07/the-economist-guide-to-parenting-full-transcript/