Ok, total rant ahead. Mostly against my hubby to, which I try really hard not to do on this blog. But tonight/today his bias to things REALLY came to a head.
I do not feel I am to biased on the choice of race ect for our foster 2 adopt kiddo. I know that I do NOT want an ICWA kiddo (indian kiddo) because of the risk that an indian tribe may try to claim that child as their own at anytime up until the day of legal adoption. That is way to much risk for me. Having a child placed, then ICWA notified and them doing nothing until the day before my child becomes mine legally, and deciding that they would be better off raised on an indian reservation somewhere else in the state is not what I want to deal with. Other than this I feel I am open (medical issues I am fairly set on what I am not open to). Maybe my bias's are so buried that I don't really know if it is a bias, but for now I am gonna assume I don't have bias's. My thought and phrase I have mentioned to hubby is "A child in need is a child in need no matter the race." I have briefly mentioned before the african american side of things, the newest is he is thinking he only wants a singleton or a lone sibling group (like those are the only two siblings) because he doesn't want to deal with the cultural/socio economic aspect of having to deal with explaining why we have more money than their other sibs and the possible ecouragement of theivery by their not wealthy sibs. And then he brings up inheritance. Really hubbs, really? And how the other sibs of the f2a kid may abuse/mis treat adult kid when we are gone because they have all this inheritance. um ok. I guess that is something to think about, but in general I would hope our kid (who would be 50+ ish) would know how to handle themselves in such a situation. It just really erks me, sometimes I think "did you really think of how this would be before we signed up..." Maybe I am looking to much at the roses and not enough at the thorns, but I really think that his bias is not good. hmmph, maybe I can get hubbs to blog his side...
My thoughts on inheritance is that you should raise your kid to not expect any. Just tell them that you plan to go on year long cruises after you retire and for them not to plan on anything. (obviously when they're slightly older). I've read two recent articles about Bill Gates and Warren Buffet both leaving the majority of their money to charities and only providing their children with a small sum (I'm sure it's still nice but no where near all the money). Since you don't know how life is going to treat you, it's best for your child to expect to need to take care of themselves anyway. As far as the siblings asking for money, that's a problem any family can face and it will be up to your child to figure out how to deal with it. You can always set up inheritance with specific conditions on it like this will only pay for school and housing or you get x amount at age 20 and x amount at age 30 which helps a lot when doing a will with a younger kid. My parents have something in theirs where we get a certain percentage each year and then the rest at 30 since they've known kids whose parents have died and they got a big sum of money at 20 and blew it all cause they were in shock. I don't think it will be any more or less of a problem either way. :)
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