The speed of molasses

So here I am today, prepping for a Christmas gathering turned bday party turned back to Christmas party. All because of a little boy named Sprout.  It has been one roller-coaster ride of a week emotions wise. I am back on the upswing of this roller coaster. Things are looking goodish. As good as we could hope.  His chance of coming home to us at any point is 50%. The reason it is so "low" is because it all depends on whether or not we hear if current Fmom is going to fight license revocation.  We were supposed to hear yesterday, but our guy hadn't heard anything and wasn't able to get a hold of supervisor yesterday. From the brief convo hubby had with the guy at 5pm, he didn't sound like he was about to retry calling her, said he is in his office on monday.  So we are hoping to hear something.

Last week was bad, we were so excited to be welcoming Sprout into our house. Monday the case seamed to have changed-or maybe our case manager said it in a way that lead us to believe that. We didn't hear from him till wednesday-and all he sent was an email saying "no news yet."  My mom called later that day to get Christmas gift advice. She asked about the case I told her no news.  Thursday we had thought we lost him. We just wanted to hear something. Yes/no. We were fine with saying goodbye to this boy we didn't really know.  Thursday my mom called asking more xmas stuff. Said something about our case (can't remember exactly... but by then I just needed to let the tears out anyhow...) and I just started crying on the phone. My mom didn't get why I was upset, her comments really didn't comfort me either.  She doesn't really know what this process is like, she knows what we tell her, but emotionally she doesn't know what it feels like.  Emotionally it is like finding out your pregnant with a home test, going to the doctor and "oh maybe your pregnant. I'm leaning towards yes. Oh but this test came back bad. I donno you might be pregnant"  That is as close as I can come to an explanation.  It is hard. I am emotionally attached to this little boy. I want what is best for him.  But at the end of the day it is hard.  So I cried, let it out, moved on.

Now we are back at our holding pattern, waiting for news. I am still just wanting to know yes/no-but a different yes/no. Is she gonna fight it? Are we gonna get him?

Hoping to get off this roller coaster one way or the other this week-we will see...